Libby Becklin
Becklin, who had a 20-year-long career as a television journalist, is a freelance writer. She lives in West Linn.
It’s been three weeks of social isolation from my mother, and I wonder if she even remembers who I am. My dad and I are familiar faces in her memory care unit. We know the nurses, residents and family members of other patients there by name. I love when Mom’s face brightens when I sweep in for a visit every few days. She typically knows my name but sometimes speaks to me- about me - in the third person.
With the coronavirus epidemic posing an unprecedented risk to those in senior living facilities, I worry about the coming days for both my 80-year-old mother--on hospice—and my father of the same age. He is the only one able to visit Mom, since he lives in an apartment at the same retirement village. The restrictions are appreciated, but I wonder how long it will take others in our community, state and country to “wake-up” to the realities of this crisis and understand what it means for families like mine.
We have watched Mom face the harsh realities of dementia and mundane life in a memory care unit for more than two years. When visitors ask if she remembers them, she always smiles and says, “of course.” Only Dad and I know the truth. It makes people feel better to let them believe. Now, with the coronavirus restrictions in place, I worry that I will become one of those people.
Ever since health officials recommended social distancing, I, like many others, made the decision to isolate myself, despite feeling the stress of “cabin fever.” I stayed away from the gym. I turned down invitations to drink wine with the girls. I insisted my husband cancel his flights and told my son he couldn’t spend the night with friends. It wasn’t pretty.
Instead, I’ve been writing articles for my work, taking long walks with the dogs and cooking freezable meals for my family. It’s been nice making new dishes and desserts that I usually don’t have time to make, but it’s not the spring break we were imagining. I am shocked when I hear on the news that schools could cancel classes through the rest of the school year. Teachers are sending emails with lists of what my kids need to be doing at home. Am I now the teacher, as well?
Share your opinion
Submit your essay of 500-700 words on a highly topical issue or a theme of particular relevance to the Pacific Northwest, Oregon and the Portland area to commentary@oregonian.com. Please include your email and phone number for verification.
On social media, I see a range of reactions among my friends regarding social isolation recommendations – which became mandatory with the governor’s order on Monday. Some are angry, saying this virus is ruining their lives. Others are urging friends about the seriousness of staying home. I am relieved to see the governor finally mandate social distancing. It clears up some of the confusion for people who may have thought they were doing enough to protect each other. The longer it takes for us to embrace social distancing as a whole, the longer it will be until I can visit Mom and Dad.
I know what it feels like to be at risk. I’ve lived at high-risk from the flu and pneumonia for more than 20 years with lupus, and now, coronavirus is on the list. My hands are always dry from constant handwashing. Over the years, I’ve felt anxiety when close friends tell me the flu is moving through their families, even though I’ve had my flu and pneumonia vaccines. It was flu and the subsequent pneumonia that caused my one-and-only, near-fatal lupus flare when I was 27.
My hope is everyone will begin to share their own stories about their elderly parents or loved ones who are at high risk of this fast-moving virus. Sharing the names or faces of this population may make people think twice about breaking the governor’s order. If scientific explanations, graphics and statistics don’t convince people, maybe compassion will.
My plan was to make visits to Mom’s window, even though I had doubts she would understand who I am or why I was waving at her from the bushes. It didn’t go as planned. A staff member asked me to leave, saying “window visitors” might encourage other memory care residents to open their windows. I see the point, even though my heart goes out to all the families I see on social media yelling through the windows of care facilities to maintain contact with their loved ones.
We are all in this together. Working as a group is the only way to deal with this pandemic and the anxiety it’s spreading around the globe. We must accept this new reality of social isolation; if not for our own family, then for the families of our friends and neighbors.
"Opinion" - Google News
March 25, 2020 at 08:30PM
https://ift.tt/2y1EIwy
Opinion: Making sacrifices for those whose families depend on it - oregonlive.com
"Opinion" - Google News
https://ift.tt/2FkSo6m
Shoes Man Tutorial
Pos News Update
Meme Update
Korean Entertainment News
Japan News Update
No comments:
Post a Comment