California’s already-besieged court system ground to a near halt in March as Gov. Gavin Newsom’s “stay-at-home” order went into effect. Courts are gradually returning to service, but the extended closure will likely exacerbate an underlying, pervasive problem in the family court system: lengthy divorces involving narcissistic or other “high-conflict personalities” who unduly congest and delay proceedings.

The Mayo Clinic defines Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as “a mental condition in which a person has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.” In family court, the disorder manifests itself in some of the thorniest of cases. The narcissist’s perceived sense of infallibility and accompanying resistance to settle is amplified by the traditional civil process, which pits one party against the other, creating “winners” and “losers.” The result: cases drag on for years, placing emotional and financial burdens on everyone involved, especially children.

Surprisingly little research has been done on the effects of high-conflict personalities in our state’s courts. However, Santa Clara University School of Law recently published a study in Family Law Quarterly (which I co-authored) about the issue and included some recommendations.

Of the approximately 10% of family law disputes that go to trial, many are conflict-fueled separations. While most divorce cases are settled out-of-court in less than two years, high-conflict cases typically last two to five years and can involve scores of filings, endless delays, tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees, and a high rate of attorney turnover. Worst of all, children become collateral damage and often wind up developing a wide range of mental-health issues.

After interviewing family law attorneys, judges and a custody evaluator, the Santa Clara study identified a range of troubling factors associated with high-conflict personalities and family court. Narcissists fundamentally thrive on conflict, and attorneys often realize that no rational reasoning will overcome a client’s irrational position. Attorneys must walk a fine line of advocating for their client within the bounds of the law while also attempting to curb and contain unrealistic – even misguided – expectations.

Rarely are formal diagnoses made in family court. Thus, attorneys unequipped to recognize NPD traits struggle to meet their ethical obligations to serve as zealous advocates for clients taking untenable and unreasonable positions. The cases consume enormous energy, time and financial resources.  Not surprisingly, both family law attorneys and judges are prone to burnout after working on these extremely demanding cases.

The result is a hidden bill that ultimately winds up being paid by taxpayers.

While there is no “cure” for individuals with NPD or high-conflict personalities, our study recommends several ways to improve their absorption in family court.

First, attorneys must be educated about personality disorders like NPD and  provided guidance for how to successfully navigate these cases. The State Bar should develop continuing legal education courses addressing how to recognize – and deal with – high-conflict personalities.

The judicial system also needs to change, starting with the judicial rotation systems. In some counties, judges rotate out of family court every two to three years. As cases involving people with NPD typically exceed that time period, they routinely require more than one judge to get up to speed on a case with a complicated and labyrinthine history – hence prolonging litigation even further. Because people with NPD see the courtroom as their stage, these cases may proceed more readily to resolution when judges encourage informal procedures such as in-chambers conferences, and avoid formal court hearings.

Divorce isn’t a typical civil dispute, and shouldn’t be treated as such. Major overhauls could improve the current system, but smaller judicial improvements coupled with formalized legal education is a good way to start managing these intractable cases.

Esther Rosenfeld, a co-author of the Santa Clara University law school study, is a family law attorney and mediator based in Sunnyvale.

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