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Thursday, December 17, 2020

Opinion: Remember Christmas future — let family know it’s OK not to come home this year - Houston Chronicle

This time of year always brings memories of Christmas past.

It was 1967 and I had recently lost my sweet daddy. My brother, cousins, and boyfriend were all serving in Vietnam fighting in a war that few supported. My mom was concerned about how my younger siblings would deal with their memories of past holidays while managing expectations for the current Christmas season.

We were in a new home. I was already in college and working part-time.

My sister had made plans with friends to be gone on Christmas Day.

I learned that year how fluid everything is, and that new experiences are just as valid as memories. Christmas past will always impact Christmas present but it must not define it.

That year we ended up doing most of our holiday baking in October since we were shipping cookies and other treats to addresses in Vietnam packed in freshly popped popcorn to keep the cookies from breaking. I had always assumed the popcorn would be thrown out. My brother said that nothing went to waste. They’d have eaten the boxes if they could have. Attending Christmas Day Mass helped ground us and small sweet surprises for each of us helped to make the day somewhat merry. But we still missed those that weren’t with us.

About 10 years later I was newly married and with our baby boy. I spent the holidays with my in-laws, who celebrated differently than my family. I was so homesick and had a lump in my throat the entire visit. I didn’t realize it at the time, but new traditions were in the making.

The sugar cookie recipe that my great-grandmother brought with her from Poland was always center stage in my family. Kolaches, fruit cakes the poppyseed rolls. These old recipes complemented the new Southern ones from my in-laws. Pecan and pumpkin pies. Chitlins, tripe, and cornbread — all combined to make a blended holiday menu.

Then there’s the year my mom suffered a stroke and was hospitalized. It brought my siblings and me the realization that many people don’t even celebrate Christmas. They have no one, no faith, no chain of holiday memories. For some, Christmas is just “another day.”

Last year, Christmas was truly a holiday on steroids. Not only did we have several friends join us for our annual day at the Nutcracker Ballet, but we also hosted a group making gingerbread houses, and enjoyed not only a visit but also a photo shoot with Santa. This doesn’t include the parties, shopping and theater.

Now it’s Christmas present, and we are dealing with unprecedented events.

If everyone were being equally cautious and careful, the visits, meals and merriment could happen. Unfortunately this just isn’t the case.

My daughter felt relatively comfortable flying here for Christmas. Short flight from Dallas Love, middle seats “off limits.” But the scripts are all changing. Middle seats are being used, too many are flying, airports are crowded. People have politicized masks and caution.

Her ticket has been refunded and she won’t be flying home this year. I think we’ve decided she’ll make a road trip with just her and her pup, Bugsy. She’ll spray the vehicle down with Lysol and not make any stops. She works from home so has been isolating and quarantining. Just three of us.

We need to let our parents, children, family, and friends know that it is OK to not come home for Christmas. Christmas will still happen, and it isn’t being canceled. It will be different, but I’m not concerned. I’ve had less than perfect Christmases before, and this is just another holiday where we have to re-imagine our traditions and adjust. When we focus on the true meaning of the holiday we realize that Christmas is perfect on its own.

We must remember and honor Christmas future. I’ll never take traditions and memories for granted. Yet I want room for fresh experiences and to always be open to being flexible in what we expect from others.

I just received several holiday cards in the mail. Each one implores that we “stay safe” and “stay healthy.” That is what we all need to do.

The final paragraphs of “A Christmas Carol” report that Scrooge “knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.” To this Dickens adds, “May that be truly said of us, and all of us.”

Pierson lives in Seabrook, Texas and is a retired speech and debate coach.

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"Opinion" - Google News
December 17, 2020 at 04:00PM
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Opinion: Remember Christmas future — let family know it’s OK not to come home this year - Houston Chronicle
"Opinion" - Google News
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