Before I begin, let me be candid: I’m sometimes guilty of this behavior, too.
You’ve learned something that is exciting, at least from your perspective, on television or in an article or book. Maybe you didn’t know Lynyrd Skynyrd had three lead guitarists.
Your wife comes home from work and, whether she’s interested or not, she’s going to hear all about it the moment she walks through the door.
I was watching “Saturday Night Live” when one of those fake, deft commercials came on after the monologue. It starts out with a guy springing off the sofa when his wife comes through the door. He besieges her with stuff about which she has zero comprehension or interest.
“Vin Diesel (action movie star) has a twin brother,” he says at the end of a rapid-fire succession of music and movie trivia.
She sighs hard.
From a voice-over, we learn: “According to studies, many men say they have no close friendships, and three in four report receiving all of their emotional support from their wife or girlfriend, often the moment when they come home from work.”
Beyond the point of frustration, the wife sits down with her husband for a talk: “I need you to go out of the house and make a friend so you have other people to talk to about this stuff and not just me.”
“That’s insane,” he says. “Where would I even go?”
The commercial breaks to that woman talking to another woman in a setting that looks like a dog park.
“Look, they’re networking!” one of them says.
“Awe, they’re doing so good,” says the other.
They’re referring to their men. It’s a “man park”— a dog park for men to socialize with other men.
Voice-over: “It’s not their fault masculinity makes intimacy so hard.”
As funny as the commercial is, it’s also sad. It’s quite factual and germane to male-female intimate relationships in American society and a problem I report on often on the police beat.
If I wanted to, I could fill an entire page almost every day with domestic violence-related arrests.
Although the fake commercial doesn’t address the topic directly, a lack of male support may predispose a man to abusive behavior toward their wife or girlfriend. According to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, having few friends and being isolated from other people is one of several risk factors for intimate partner violence perpetration..
The SNL dog park commercial resonated with both men and women. On YouTube, it received over 92,000 likes and 4,500 comments to date.
Many of the comments speak to how frustrating it is for adults, including women, to meet and form friendships with other adults.
“This really hits home,” one commenter said. “It’s incredible how men fall into this state of loneliness of friendships apart from their partners. I had lots of friends when I was young and have a lot of old time friends, but as an adult it’s been pretty hard forming these new bonds.”
Several suggested the idea of a man park is not as outlandish as it seems:
“I’m a married woman and my female friends have asked me things like ‘could your husband get a beer with my husband? maybe they could go jogging together? he’s so lonely.’ I know it sounds like setting up playdates for kids, but we see our men struggling and we’re trying to help. A man park would be the perfect solution.”
Another said, “As someone who has basically started scheduling man dates for their husband with other couples, this made me laugh, wince, groan and schedule another one for Monday.”
Women, there’s really only so much you can do. It’s up to us guys to man up, lower our steel-grate security doors, come out of our man caves and test the unfamiliar world of vulnerability.
I believe this is why cops and firefighters have motorcycle clubs. The bikes are as much for connection as they are for getting from one place to another.
It feels safer for men to connect through activities than straight-up conversation. There are other groups besides motorcycle clubs that cater to a particular passion. Try one out.
I have to pat myself on the back. I waited until the next morning, hard as it was, to tell my wife about the “man park” commercial.
That’s progress.
"Opinion" - Google News
February 19, 2022 at 01:50AM
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‘Man park’ idea resonates [Opinion] - Reading Eagle
"Opinion" - Google News
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