I recently took a 24-hour holiday to the western slope. At a farm stand in Frisco, I leaned over to pick up a just-bought box of beautiful nectarines, and found it was a bit heavier than I imagined. And my back let me know it as I lifted my treasure into the car. It felt like an oxymoron, pain and delicious nectarines just don’t go together. However, our bodies are our best teachers. Sometimes they speak to us gently and sometimes through a megaphone.
On that beautiful blue-sky day at the Frisco farm stand, it was a megaphone moment. I was reminded of the Buddhist teaching, we must have both “a soft front and a strong back.” Compassion and caring for others fostered by a soft front must be balanced by the grounded strength of caring for ourselves with a strong back. The tenderness in my back was a clear message I was not placing a priority on boundaries and learning my limits emotionally and physically. That was my body’s communication, but it is true that each of us receives different and individual messages. However, what is universal is that there is inherent wisdom in our bodies if we take the time to listen. They frequently notify us as to what may be going on emotionally that we might not even be aware of. A “pain in the neck” may signal irritation, butterflies in the stomach can be anxiety, shoulder pain may be due to the heavy burdens we carry and tension is our chest may be the sadness of a heavy heart. This is not to say physical discomfort and illness are all the result of emotional challenges, yet it is undeniable that they have a very complicated interdependent relationship.
When we pay attention to our bodies, important information about our emotional experience can surface that we may not be cognitively aware of. If we attend to the cues of body sensations, our decisions become clearer. I often encourage clients to inhale and exhale into any physical sensation they may be having in their body. It is that grounded alignment in the present that allows individuals to recognize emotion in addition to physical discomfort. It is with that recognition and allowing of emotion that guides them about how to best care for themselves and others. Wants override shoulds as we face that “want” is not a four-letter word. Cultural and familial shoulds are hardwired versus messages from our body, heart and soul.
How many of us have a hard time saying, “no,” and instead filling our schedules with shoulds, and expectations without taking the pause to ask, what is enough and what is too much? Doing more is usually an attempt to feel enough. Research shows that the building blocks of self-esteem are not based on achievement but more on how we recognize, accept and communicate our feelings. Esteem and respect for our emotional world allow our self-esteem to strengthen. The wisdom held in our bodies holds an important key to unlocking our emotional landscape.
When I got back on the road to head farther west for my night away and time for solitude, I followed behind a Subaru that kept its blinker on for miles. We are so often living on the straight and narrow with plans to take the turn away from our day-to-day responsibilities, but it can take a long time to finally turn the wheel. Aging encourages me to take a pause more often as my body shouts to me. The sky is no longer the limit and it actually never was even if I wanted to believe it was so.
As my 24-hour holiday continued the physical discomfort became my guide as I tried to be kind and gentle with myself, walking slowly as if I was balancing a warm cup of tea trying not to spill a drop. With every small nurturing interaction I received, I said thank you with a nectarine. The kindness of the coffee barista, the store clerk, the waitress and the massage therapist were all thanked with a nectarine. With each gift, I shared the sweet nectar and simultaneously lightened the heavy burden of my nectarine box. Allowing others to care for us can be more challenging than caring for another but a necessity, one more lesson learned with age.
In the words of Eduardo Galeano, “The church says the body is the sin. Science says the body is a machine. Advertising says the body is a business. The body says I am a fiesta.” That fiesta holds such beauty and hearing the body’s music creates our individual melody. We just have to remember to listen.
Priscilla Dann-Courtney may be reached through her website: priscilladanncourtney.com
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August 20, 2022 at 07:01PM
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Opinion: Priscilla Dann-Courtney: Listening to your body’s wisdom - Boulder Daily Camera
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